Writing and Woes

I think it’s safe to say 2017 has been one the most turbulent, change-filled and character building years of my life. If you want an example of this, just take the fact that in the space of about 5 months I went from doing my exams, to leaving school, to starting university and moving out of my home- then leaving university, moving home again, and finally getting a full time job .It was all chaos and I barely had time to think about what was actually going on. But I’ve actually loved this year despite all the drama, and the stress. I managed to pass my driving test and get AABB in my A-level results, as well as get offers from all my universities and get the all the jobs I applied for being home.  I am proud of all I have achieved this year. My success has empowered me, giving me a little more, much needed, self-belief that I can do and be anything if I try hard enough. Moreover, I have met some incredible new people –from my fantastic flatmates at university who kept me ...

In general, I think university has become so over-hyped that when people get there it can’t help but be different to expectations. Often , uni is described as the “best time of your life”- and for many people it is . For many, it’s a time where you get to meet lots of new people , have endless fun and drunken antics with flatmates, and when you get to pursue a degree or career you love , and have endless freedom. But this ignores how there is also an increasing proportion of people who do not get to enjoy this university experience. People which academic pressure, isolation, homesickness, depression and suicide all affect every year in the thousands…  These people are part of “the dark side of university” – a side that often goes unspoken about. That was until recently – in programs such as the BBC’s Death on campus: our story. This was a 30 minute program exploring the events that led up to 3 students at university taking their own lives. The program reminded viewers of t...

I’m usually pretty good at putting on a mask, I mean I do it all the time, if anyone ever suspects something’s wrong, I shut them off with ‘I’m fine’. But today I was really struggling, and I couldn’t find it within myself to force another smile.  It’s exhausting to keep up with this persona and I don’t want to live in denial. But knowing that wasn’t an option I braced myself for another day.  Feeling myself getting agitated, I just hoped the feelings would go away. But everything was going wrong, I could feel myself about to burst. Emotions rushing to the surface, preparing myself for the worst. Now my walls were finally crumbling down, and I had a lump in my throat, whilst my eyes were tearing up and I clenched on to my coat. I knew that this was the final straw, that I’d finally had enough, enough of lots of things , but in particular, of constantly acting tough. I’d been pretending too long,  and this mask had to go, so I si...

I made the decision to leave my university course – and not being able to change courses so late in the year then meant leaving the university and my flat until next year. And this was all damn hard .My life has been full of turbulent change since September, and just when I felt settled again I had to rip it all out from under me . I've been left with debts to pay, had to find a new job, and adjust to being back home.  But , things could still be worse . I’ve got my health, a supportive family and even more supportive friends. And I don’t regret one second at university – even with all the flat drama and the course- as there’s still so much I’ve learnt these past couple of months. And sometimes in life you’ve got to weigh up what is most important to you. It was nearly a year ago now that I choose to do this course . It all happened because I was told that I needed to do a degree with an “actual job” at the end of it, not a useless one.I choose a degree that...

I can’t say I’ve eaten well , Or that I’ve had much sleep , But I can tick yes to Movie Nights , and chasing rabbits down the street. We’ve been to the Insane Tuesdays … and drank until we were numb, Though I can’t say that my first time throwing up, (((especially on my carpet))) was very much fun. Now with letters to maintenance? we’ve been there, done that, and  I honestly now think, Mark will be glad to see the back of this flat. The bowling was banter, and I’ll just ignore that I came last, because my amazing crab-walking down the corridor, proved that I can be fast. I loved the High School musical dance parties and playing Mario Kart and I should probably say thank you ,  because it's not going to be easy for me to part…

Wash your dishes It’s not that hard You weren’t born in a barn, or a stable, or a yard. The sink is too small to have dishes build up It’s not that complicated for you to wash one small cup. Your flatmates aren’t your servants, or your keepers, or your mothers, And those who wash their own things Needn’t worry about others.

There is a girl In the front of my class Who I swear I've never seen do anything but laugh. She's tall and she's smart, Beautiful and strong, And when someone else is down She tries to fix what is wrong. … Now there is a girl In the front of my class Who's so sad that you find it rare To see her smile or laugh. Her friends tells her jokes , Like that one with the guy.... But all she does is close her eyes And enter her mind. … Yesterday there was a girl In the front of my class  Who took a breath that was to be her last... ....  She wrote a few notes Saying I'm sorry I didn't say, But my mind was messed up,  You couldn't save me anyway...