Are you okay?

I’m usually pretty good at putting on a mask,
I mean I do it all the time,
if anyone ever suspects something’s wrong,
I shut them off with ‘I’m fine’.

But today I was really struggling,
and I couldn’t find it within myself to force another smile.
 It’s exhausting to keep up with this persona
and I don’t want to live in denial.

But knowing that wasn’t an option
I braced myself for another day.
 Feeling myself getting agitated,
I just hoped the feelings would go away.

But everything was going wrong,
I could feel myself about to burst.
Emotions rushing to the surface,
preparing myself for the worst.

Now my walls were finally crumbling down,
and I had a lump in my throat,
whilst my eyes were tearing up
and I clenched on to my coat.

I knew that this was the final straw,

that I’d finally had enough,

enough of lots of things , but in particular,

of constantly acting tough.

I’d been pretending too long, 

and this mask had to go,

so I simply sat down on a bench ,

and let my tears begin to flow. 

I rang a friend and told them I had enough, 

that it was time for me to leave,

she cried too and said

she didn’t want to hear me say that I’d lost all my belief .

Yet she didn’t try to fix me
she listened, and gave me a choice,
and I decided I didn’t want to run away this time,
so I gave my problem’s a voice.

We talked and talked and talked for hours,
tears rushing down my face,
and she listened to me patiently
and gave me a safe space.

There was no judgement, no pretence
just love , kindness and support,
and through communication and patience
we gradually built up a rapport.

I had no idea how free it would feel
to just get it off my chest.
After months of it building up inside me,
I could finally release and rest.

 See the thing is we didn’t just talk,
we connected and engaged.
I opened myself up to her
and she made me feel very safe.

 so I’m extending her act of kindness further-
and hoping to do the same,
so I ’d like to ask anyone who’s struggling right now,
are you actually okay?