Skip to main content

2017:A year in review

I think it’s safe to say 2017 has been one the most turbulent, change-filled and character building years of my life.

If you want an example of this, just take the fact that in the space of about 5 months I went from doing my exams, to leaving school, to starting university and moving out of my home- then leaving university, moving home again, and finally getting a full time job .It was all chaos and I barely had time to think about what was actually going on.
But I’ve actually loved this year despite all the drama, and the stress.
I managed to pass my driving test and get AABB in my A-level results, as well as get offers from all my universities and get the all the jobs I applied for being home.  I am proud of all I have achieved this year. My success has empowered me, giving me a little more, much needed, self-belief that I can do and be anything if I try hard enough.
Moreover, I have met some incredible new people –from my fantastic flatmates at university who kept me on my toes to say the least, to all the people at work who make me constantly laugh and have brought a spark back to my life (that after the mess of university I thought I wouldn't see return for a while).
And I can’t forget all the wonderful adventures and times I have had with my close friends and family - from visiting the Sea life centre , going to Cardiff and the Harry Potter studios- to going to the cinema or out for a meal. Actually, most of my best memories of 2017 are the small ones that others might overlook. Moments of pure content and happiness on road trips to Mcdonalds blasting Mr Brightside , or laughing at conspiracy theories with friends.

This year I have continued to enjoy my hobbies and read 27 books , and seen over 60 films .I have continued to write, as well as draw and take photographs. Despite having less and less time to do all of these , I try to keep them up because they bring me happiness - and often life could do with a little more of that haha.

But 2017 hasn't all been joy , as you'll realise from my other posts, like other years I’ve struggled with my mental health (badly) and body image. I’ve had panic attacks that I thought I would never bounce back from , and had days where suicide genuinely felt like the only good option. I’ve lost members of my family, and watch friends struggle through similar pain and heartbreak whilst I stood by ,unable to take their pain from them.

Yet I'm learning to accept that this is life - and sometimes there really is nothing you can do about it.
Life is simply a heap of good days and bad days- and sometimes good people get too many bad days.

In 2018 I hope for more good days than bad .
I hope for good health and happiness for myself , my friends and family.
 I hope to overcome my personal struggles and find happiness as often as possible- not being defined by my mental health.
I hope to meet more wonderful people and adventure to different places.
I hope to find my true calling and pursue lots of things that bring me joy.

And finally I wish that if I must go through more bad days ,I hope that I am not alone and that my friends and family continue to give me the courage to get through it , so that eventually dark days don't feel so all-consuming. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

May: Us

I love the way you laugh out loud The way you make me smile The way you're not afraid to hold my hand, if only for a while I love the way you look at me And the way you always care The way you look me in the eyes And sometimes even stare I love the way you give me hugs That sometimes last forever But think you should believe in yourself more, because you are actually really clever. I love the way you understand me completely, And even though it sounds really cheesy, the way you complete me.

How are you?

How are you? Three simple words. Infinite answers. What answer do you wish to hear today? Do you   want to hear about my pain, the heaviness, thoughts and fears that I keep? Do you   wish to know about my web of secrets and lies that are tearing me apart inside? What about the self-harm or the suicidal thoughts? Do you want to know how alone I feel and how many nights I have cried myself to sleep this week? And do you want to know for   you , to help   me , or to simply have something to   talk about at  your next meal? Think carefully. Don’t want to know? No,   I didn't think so. So I guess I'm   fine   thank you, how are you?

Mindset

I keep preaching to work hard and follow your dreams, yet my mindset has been the complete opposite lately.   I’m sitting around in idleness, achieving absolutely nothing,   thinking to myself, what’s happening to me? It’s like I’m purposely choosing to trap myself in this cage,  and if I fail?   I’ll only have myself to blame. I can’t bring myself to do anything when I’m in this state, So when I preach to others,I feel so fake. I’ve gotten used to this feeling, I’ve become comfortable, I’ve lost count of the days, It’s all become one long stream of consciousness   where everyday feels the same. No routine, no stability - lately, there hasn’t even been a plan A. Just sleeping, doing nothing and wasting the time away. I’ve become the person I hate.   Feeling all sense of hopelessness,   constantly making the same mistakes again, and again, and again. My mind has gone blank, I've lost ambition,   and it just becomes harder and ha...