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Dear readers...


It’s been so long since my fingers stretched and yearned for the gentle clicking of the keyboard. Now I have chosen to be back online, with my thoughts unwinding onto the internet, trying to find a home in my own corner of the internet.

When I first decided to post on here I was searching for an outlet for my mental health issues -a way of finding closure on my past. I wanted a way of telling people how I felt without having to actually tell them. U
ltimately, this blog helped me understand myself and work out where I wanted to go next, whilst developing my own passion for writing. So , reaching the end of 2018 I have added some of my writings from this year in the hopes it means something to someone one.  

Hope you have had a good year x

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December : old habits die hard:

Old habits die hard, So roll a dice , and lay down a card And neck your drink, pour a shot, drink until alls forgot. Could grab my fags light em up or add some ket into my cup Might as well get all the drugs because any will do numb my pain For an hour or two. I’ll grab the takeaway, Stuff my gob More and more that’ll do the job.

September: For my friends

I looked for inspiration for this online, researched poems about friendship, looked at ones that rhymed. You see, I wanted this to be good, I wanted this one to matter. These words I wish you to read, After seeing your faces, hearing your laughter and chatter. It’s been months since we’ve all been together, And I didn’t know how It would be, would it be awkward,stilted,would the experience be crappy? But I don’t know what I was worried about , we all fit together as one, tonight was nothing but warm ,sparkling and fun.

Endings:

I made the decision to leave my university course – and not being able to change courses so late in the year then meant leaving the university and my flat until next year. And this was all damn hard .My life has been full of turbulent change since September, and just when I felt settled again I had to rip it all out from under me . I've been left with debts to pay, had to find a new job, and adjust to being back home.  But , things could still be worse . I’ve got my health, a supportive family and even more supportive friends. And I don’t regret one second at university – even with all the flat drama and the course- as there’s still so much I’ve learnt these past couple of months. And sometimes in life you’ve got to weigh up what is most important to you. It was nearly a year ago now that I choose to do this course . It all happened because I was told that I needed to do a degree with an “actual job” at the end of it, not a useless one.I choose a degree that...