'It's not that I don't want to be happy , it's that , despite my best efforts, I can't bring myself to be happy.' I feel trapped in my mind,embarrassed and ashamed, but why did I have to feel this way? I have a family, friends and good results, therefore I must be okay? Yet all I ever seem to feel is sadness and grey. People will tell me to try sport: go for a walk, listen to meditations. If only this could be solved by some talking therapy and medication. But this is a disease that affects every aspect of my life- my friendships,my family and my education. And it never seems to be solved , so I'm left with frustration. My therapist will say, so why are you sad? Well , if I knew the answer to that ,maybe I wouldn't feel so bad. All I know is I wake everyday feeling like shit, This is my norm now , I've lost my spirit. But, where is the fairness of it all? People tell me you chose how you feel, like I enjoy