Mindset

I keep preaching to work hard and follow your dreams,
yet my mindset has been the complete opposite lately. 
I’m sitting around in idleness, achieving absolutely nothing, 
thinking to myself, what’s happening to me?
It’s like I’m purposely choosing to trap myself in this cage, and if I fail? 
I’ll only have myself to blame.

I can’t bring myself to do anything when I’m in this state,
So when I preach to others,I feel so fake.
I’ve gotten used to this feeling, I’ve become comfortable,
I’ve lost count of the days,
It’s all become one long stream of consciousness 
where everyday feels the same.
No routine, no stability - lately, there hasn’t even been a plan A.
Just sleeping, doing nothing and wasting the time away.
I’ve become the person I hate. 
Feeling all sense of hopelessness, 
constantly making the same mistakes again, and again, and again.

My mind has gone blank, I've lost ambition, 
and it just becomes harder and harder to feel inspired,
I guess I could just put my makeup on and pretend like everything’s fine,
but truth is, I’ve never really been a good liar.

So instead I'll hide away from the world - ashamed to show people my face.
beat myself up over the fact that I’ve literally achieved nothing these past couple of days. 
I wish I can wake up and just switch from this phase 
become motivated overnight and start to revise and create. 

It’s so frustrating when my mind doesn’t seem to want to work that way, 
I’ve become so negative and I’m tired of it, 
The only way out is forcing myself to change.