Skip to main content

Mindset

I keep preaching to work hard and follow your dreams,
yet my mindset has been the complete opposite lately. 
I’m sitting around in idleness, achieving absolutely nothing, 
thinking to myself, what’s happening to me?
It’s like I’m purposely choosing to trap myself in this cage, and if I fail? 
I’ll only have myself to blame.

I can’t bring myself to do anything when I’m in this state,
So when I preach to others,I feel so fake.
I’ve gotten used to this feeling, I’ve become comfortable,
I’ve lost count of the days,
It’s all become one long stream of consciousness 
where everyday feels the same.
No routine, no stability - lately, there hasn’t even been a plan A.
Just sleeping, doing nothing and wasting the time away.
I’ve become the person I hate. 
Feeling all sense of hopelessness, 
constantly making the same mistakes again, and again, and again.

My mind has gone blank, I've lost ambition, 
and it just becomes harder and harder to feel inspired,
I guess I could just put my makeup on and pretend like everything’s fine,
but truth is, I’ve never really been a good liar.

So instead I'll hide away from the world - ashamed to show people my face.
beat myself up over the fact that I’ve literally achieved nothing these past couple of days. 
I wish I can wake up and just switch from this phase 
become motivated overnight and start to revise and create. 

It’s so frustrating when my mind doesn’t seem to want to work that way, 
I’ve become so negative and I’m tired of it, 
The only way out is forcing myself to change. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

December : old habits die hard:

Old habits die hard, So roll a dice , and lay down a card And neck your drink, pour a shot, drink until alls forgot. Could grab my fags light em up or add some ket into my cup Might as well get all the drugs because any will do numb my pain For an hour or two. I’ll grab the takeaway, Stuff my gob More and more that’ll do the job.
Post a Comment
Read more

Sunday Motivation

Let me guess, the world’s not fair and it’s against you, Go on then, give up like you always do, mope around feeling sorry for yourself, What’s the matter? Can’t handle the truth? Would you like me to sugar coat it for you? Tell you that everything’s going to be fine   and come up with some easy excuse? Well I’m not going to,   Because life’s not easy and you’re not a fool. You keep acting like the victim, Constantly saying how things aren’t going your way when, the choice has always been right there in front of you. You’ve got the tools, A working brain, a functioning body   So get a grip and stop acting like you haven’t got a clue Yes, “Life’s not fair”, and things aren’t always going to go your way, tell me something new. I hate to break it to you, but the world isn’t gonna be laid out nicely in front of you.   The biggest mistake is believing that you don’t have control over your life, That it’s not a choice, when that couldn’t be furthe...
Post a Comment
Read more

Results Day

Today is results day... Today is the day where I discover my long-awaited fate. Am I going to fail and regret every decision I’ve ever made? or am I going to pass , in which case I’m destined to be okay, or at least that’s what people say.   That’s on the condition that I go on to do well at the next stage Yet why must my life be a continuous series of tests and games? I’ve been absolutely dreading this day,   I can feel my heart beating out of my chest just pleading for this moment to go away.   Knowing that people are going to ask me what I’ve got is something I cannot face.   The pressure to do well hangs over me like a dead weight. What will people say? What if I’m the only one who fails and everyone else does great? It seems that we’re put under so much pressure at a young age   Expected to know what we want to do with our lives, make the right choices, get the best grades.   And expected to somehow, come out of it all okay. We’...
Post a Comment
Read more